Thursday, May 31, 2012

Do You Ever Feel Like An Appendix?

Not an eye. Or an ear. But an appendix.

Another worship service ends, and a long line forms as people wait patiently to welcome the new worshipers who just stood in front of the church to officiate their membership.

A number of reasons might logically explain why I didn't join in line to greet the new faces:

I'm in the band and need to prepare my chord charts for round two. I need to run to the bathroom before the next service starts. I need to hurry and say hi to one of my friends before she picks up her daughter from the childrens' department...

All those reasons are usually true.

But there is another reason that probably contains even more truth:
I don't think I will make a difference.

The newcomers will probably be bombarded with handshakes and overwhelmed with names. In a crowded room swarming with people, what difference could I possibly make? No one would notice my absence. I'm sure the building holds much more influential people who perform much more important roles than I do.  My words of welcome, my personality, could not possibly matter very much with so many capable, put-together people surrounding me. 

And despite my mind knowing otherwise,
despite having heard the scriptures about the body needing each of its parts,
I still experience those feelings.
I wonder if my part in the body appears not only as less significant
than an eye that sees beauty or an ear that hears hope,
but is more like an appendix---part of the body---yet seemingly unnecessary.

Yes, I truly know that each part, including my own, matters, and that God is intricately using each one. But let's throw away intellectual arguments for a moment and just focus on the emotional:

Do you sometimes feel like a useless appendix? 
Unneeded? Without a sure purpose? 
Something the body could easily continue without?
Do you ever feel insignificant in a crowd, 
doubtful you have anything to offer,
when all those people surrounding you
appear to have more confidence,
more talent,
more personality,
more faith?
When and why do you feel that way?
What do you do about it?


2 comments:

~K~ said...

I don't always comment, but love your posts! I too think I'm an appendix...often! But, hey, God made those for a reason, right!? ;-)

..... said...

You're right! Thank you! I really appreciate your reading and following.