If You Want It, Get Serious

A sweet girl in her late twenties
approached me in tears;
her attempts to play piano
with her church band
had been a "hot mess,"
as she termed it.

She came to me, a music teacher, in hopes of encouragement, not even sure if she should continue pursuing her musical goals. She was very emotional, upset about her stumbles, doubted that her church band even wanted her, or questioned if she had misunderstood her purpose in the first place. Her emotional needs were the first concern. I told her I understood, because I've had those moments when my fingers just slipped all over the keys, and a performance I had felt great about simply fell flat. I reminded her she'd just driven in from out-of-town, not feeling well, then was handed a bunch of new music and introduced to new musicians she had never played with. "The next practice might not be so bad," I tried to encourage her. "If they're playing with new musicians, it might just take a few weeks to get in sync with each other." 

Leave The Past Behind

Audio: https://picasaweb.google.com/109417203241736658319/Songs02#5710347798608111426

Sometimes I'm on top of the world,
excited for the future, searching for more.
Nothing standing in my way,
enjoying every moment today.
I've got it all together;
I'm not looking behind.
Forgotten the past,
peace in my mind.
I've stitched up my wounds,
so can anyone tell me why

Tell me why do I feel so out of control?
It seems like I've tried forever to keep it all together,
and why does the pain I try to hide
still find a way to make itself known?
 
No matter how much time has gone by, the long forgotten can come clearly to mind.
Although I feel strong, although I thought for sure I'd moved on.
No matter how far I've come since those days, in just an instant, I'm back in that place,
reliving that time, so can anyone tell me why?
   
Tell me why do I feel so out of control?
It seems like I've tried forever to keep it all together,
and why does the pain I try to hide still find a way to make itself known?
 
Unwelcome memories come unheeded, and my soul keeps on bleeding
when memories that died are raised to life in my mind.
And out of the blue, my heart is grieving.
I'm back in time, where I find myself reeling.
What does it take to leave the past behind?
 
I know there is hope to live in this moment,
to heal from what is broken, from everything that's broken.
I know there is power to lay this heartache down
even though right now
   
Unwelcome memories come unheeded, and my soul keeps on bleeding
when memories that died are raised to life in my mind.
And out of the blue, my heart is grieving.
I'm back in time, where I find myself reeling.
What does it take to leave the past behind?
 
I know that I can leave the past behind.

Break Out Of The Artist's Shell

Don't break me from my shell.
Here I stay quite warm.
Protected from the world's contempt,
safe from all its harm.
  
Away from curious eyes of those
who whisper, poke, and prod.
I can't hear what they say of me
inside these guarded walls.
   
Safety here I have now,
and comfort I have found,
invisible to the hurried world;
they barely hear my sound.
   
Don't break me from my shell,
they will judge and analyze.
I want to live my role right here,
in stillness, no spotlight. ~

All My Joy

To Hear Audio: https://picasaweb.google.com/109417203241736658319/Songs02#slideshow/5702166239246400466

All my joy I find in Jesus.

My heart sings in Him alone.

Though in this world, I feel forgotten,

Still he whispers I am his own.

.

All my joy I find in Jesus.

His love cheers and lifts my heart.

I smile to know He'll never leave me,

never break this bond apart.

.

He holds His arms out to embrace me,

takes my hand and calls my name.

Who else would I rather turn to?

None other could take His place.

.

All my joy I find in Jesus.

I long for His company.

Just resting, listening in His presence,

Knowing He wants all of me.

.

He holds His arms out to embrace me,

takes my hand and calls my name.

Who else would I rather turn to?

None other could take His place.

.

He holds His arms out to embrace me,

takes my hand and calls my name.

Who else would I rather turn to?

None could take His place.

~written 2009