Why Being Uncomfortable Is More Than Normal

It finally hit me.

I hadn't been feeling myself for several days, mostly due to fatigue, a stressful week, and a few days packed with too many work obligations and constantly being surrounded by people I don't know, which sometimes contains the capability to deplete my emotions. So when I began feeling really low and discouraged, I knew the first culprit to face:

Get some rest. Give yourself some time alone.

I sent myself to bed at 7:00 on a Sunday evening. I changed my Monday afternoon teaching schedule so I could have one afternoon to relax. But the feelings of discouragement persisted, and even worse, I felt down on myself.

While trying to unravel my tangled thoughts and emotions to determine why I'd spent the last three days feeling like my worst personal enemy, I read a sentence along these lines:

"If you're feeling comfortable in your efforts and goals, 
it is time to push yourself towards feeling uncomfortable again."
   
And I understood why I felt like I was drowning in self doubt:

When I feel uncomfortable, I feel like I'm failing.

If my work duties expand into new territories that feel awkward for me,
I doubt my competence.
If I find myself performing music in different aspects than I'm accustomed to,
I fear my performance is less than acceptable.
If an intense longing or dream keeps coming to mind
that seems far outside my comfort zone,
my heartbeat accelerates from the accompanying fear.

I've equated being uncomfortable with being inadequate.

I feel confident when I am comfortable.
I'd forgotten that experiencing the unpleasant stretch
of growing into new skills or adventures is normal---
and not a reason to write myself off as failing.

I watch students experience this when their songs become more demanding and their assignments push them to a level of greater difficulty. That is the decisive moment when many students retreat and decide to quit, and only a few stick with the challenge and determine to push ahead, despite the frustration and feelings of uneasiness.

Am I not constantly telling students that they aren't supposed to be able to be able to accomplish that new assignment with instant perfection and zero difficulty?!

I forget that those uncomfortable, difficult learning phases filled with doubt don't end just because we're adults:

Being uncomfortable does not equal being inadequate.

Being uncomfortable is not only normal---
it is often a sign that we are headed for greater than normal.