Pajama Days

For almost a total of 36 hours, I had a 'pajama day' (actually, more like a pajama day-and-a-half).

Out-of-town visiting family for the holidays, I have indulged myself in a luxurious combination of either being completely lazy or just doing whatever I want---a little reading, some music practice, quite a bit of writing, some exercise, a lot of penciling out song lyrics, quite a bit of lying on the couch or in the bed.

And it has probably been the best thing I have done for myself in the past several months.

Sometimes I think admitting we're broken is healing. So much of our lives are spent wearing masks, smiling to the world that we're okay, not only to put up a facade, but just to hold ourselves together and to keep from completely crumbling apart.
 
The past few months I haven't felt okay. I'm not even sure I could state what was wrong, but I think I became overly run down. My schedule became too hectic, my sleep too inconsistent; new challenges kept piling up on me; and I entered into this holiday season feeling completely depleted. Not only exhausted and overwhelmed, but fighting daily urges to break down in the middle of whatever I was doing and just cry. Watching or reading much news coverage increased my despondency, as sadness over the world's tragedies piled on top of my personal sadness and consumed me even more. I often left visits with friends or other events early just to get to bed at a decent time, knowing if my sleep wasn't acceptable, I would be fighting even more urges to cry the next day.

I have been out-of-town a few days now, resting and catching up on activities that make 'me' feel whole, and I'm feeling improvement. After staying in my comfy penguin pajamas for approximately 36 hours, I felt---icky and badly in need of a shower---but a little calmer and more relaxed, not quite as overwhelmed as I was feeling a week ago, or even a couple of months ago.

I'm quite convinced that sometimes this is what we need---pajama days. Days when we just stop. When we let ourselves rest, let go, and momentarily forget the obligations that bury us more as each day goes by.
 
We need days of 'nothing,' in order to fill our other days with 'something.'

This is one of my goals for 2013. Right now I am relaxing and gearing up for the start of a new year---a year when I want to intentionally choose to give myself times to cease pushing, days to recuperate from the demands of work, goals, constant interactions with people, or even the challenges that "good stress" can bring.

I may need reminding.

You may need reminding.

Sometimes, doing 'nothing' is the answer.

Sometimes, we all need pajama days.