"Jesus Ain't No Wimp"

Sometimes I think the Church gets things wrong.

I'm not even broaching heavy, theological debates, but some of the seemingly smaller day-to-day choices people face.

I have a friend who is extremely talented, but has trouble fully believing in her capabilities. A few nights ago, when telling me about her plans to step out and use her skills more, she relayed how a well-meaning relative had said to her:

"If any of this works out for you, 
don't let it go to your head."


She mentally pulled back and second-guessed whether she should continue her pursuit or not. "I don't want to be arrogant," she explained to me, "I don't even think I'm that talented anyway!"

I could easily relate to her because I have felt all those feelings too---that feeling when I start to discover braveness and boldness, begin to venture out a little more, gain that sudden realization of, "Oh---I can do this, after all!" I've had those moments, more often in my 30's, when I look in the mirror and think in surprise, "Huh. I'm not a bad person. I'm not unattractive or without talent or unintelligent." In those moments I realize that, at my most confident, I'm actually quite

dangerous.

Then, I have also felt that follow-up feeling she described, that voice saying,
"Whoa. Slow down. Don't go feeling too good about yourself now."

I recognized the voice. It was years' worth of Christian messages stating that we should always view others as above us, messages basically telling us that confidence and humility are mutually exclusive. I see it all around me when I hear women who can't admit to being smart or capable or feeling pretty or worthy.

And I think we have misunderstood the whole thing.

While I'm sure Jesus felt the whole fluctuating range of human emotions including vulnerability or discouragement, I think very likely, for the most part, he exuded a confident personality. He spoke to crowds of people who were interested in what he had to say; he personally led twelve; he expressed exactly how he felt when he turned over tables in the temple; he faced down vengeful opposition; he verbally told people "no." (He did; I read it. Jesus was able to tell people 'no.') As someone said to me in an email conversation just today:

"Jesus ain't no wimp."

I doubt he typically walked around with his head down. I doubt his voice was always a whisper. I doubt he worried too awful much about what other people thought of him.

When my friend told me her concerns a few nights ago, I immediately responded, "No! You need to let yourself be confident and feel good about who you are and your abilities. It isn't going to go to your head, because that's just not your personality. That isn't who you are." Warning her against conceit was not even necessary.
  
That is what I tell myself too, when that nagging voice tries to bump my self-assurance down a notch or two. I know myself. Despite all the weaknesses I'm aware I have, I honestly think that a tendency towards egotism isn't one of them.

So I don't shoot down the belief that I'm intelligent and capable. I let myself feel attractive or talented. I remember that I am most effective and make the biggest impact when I don't fear my own confidence. I allow myself to feel dangerous and encourage friends to do the same. I remember that humility and meekness do not correlate to self-deprecation or life as a doormat.

"Jesus ain't no wimp."

Neither are we.