All The Wrong Messages

At every recent doctor appointment, the TMJ specialist points out, medically, how I've experienced a dramatic decrease in symptoms.

And at every recent doctor appointment, the TMJ specialist points out, aesthetically, something he finds unsatisfactory in me.

At first I told myself it was probably my imagination or I was taking his remarks wrong. After all, some people simply have very direct, blunt personalities that aren't intentionally trying to cause harm. But appointment after appointment, I left with a new criticism ringing in my ear. "I think he would sign me up for 'Extreme Makeover' if I would let him," I thought in agitation.

On most days, I am able to disregard or even laugh off other people's verbal slights. On my weaker days, I am simply human, and begin viewing myself through their eyes: "Oh, my face is slightly asymmetrical. Oh, my teeth do curve a little. Oh, my smile isn't perfectly perfect."

I confided to a friend that, when I am not feeling quite as strong as usual, his words chip away at the satisfaction I had previously felt towards myself, even my natural, unfixed physical self.
  
"Okay," she responded slowly and thoughtfully, "feeling this way doesn't mean you are crazy. You don't need medication. You're simply hearing too many messages about yourself that don't line up with what God says about you."

And I know she is completely right. And I know I can not control other people's words or thoughts about me.

Yet I also know the effects repetitive criticism can have on a person. I personally understand the challenge of trying to become a fortress against constant critique.

"At least you're aware of it," my friend commended for recognizing that I must head into each appointment with a strong preparedness, mindful that I may need to mentally fight any distortions his words might trigger.

"God, how do YOU see me?" I often ask in my prayers, knowing, ultimately, that is much more important than the opinion of any doctor, man, or anyone else who sees qualities in me they just can't seem to reconcile with.

So I ask this question: How do you deal with it when you seem to receive too many messages about yourself that don't line up with what God says about you?