"What's One Dumb Thing That You Used To Believe In?"

Original Question Posted by Danielle LaPorte: 

"The Burning Question Series" 

http://www.daniellelaporte.com/the-burning-question-series/

When a year-and-a-half's worth of young love---the kind that romantic songs idolize---ended abruptly instead of at the altar, I felt completely lost. Until then, my life had appeared to have a hope-filled destination, with a young man full of promises by my side. The ending struck just as close friends were preparing for their weddings, opening gifts wrapped elegantly in white paper, and sampling racks of bridal gowns with gossamer veils. For a long while, when I looked around at my nearest friendships, I was the only girl "alone"...

And I felt it as deeply as I had ever felt anything.

I felt incomplete and deficient, worthless and unwanted. I felt thoroughly baffled that the dream I had thought was nearing fulfillment had been ripped from my grasp, yet delivered so easily to my laughing friends, with rings on their left hands catching light like prisms.

I wanted that kind of love too.
No longer did I only want that kind of love, but it began to feel like a need...
   
I needed that special relationship to prove my worthiness. 
Being unattached seemed undesirable in my community.
If I stayed single for long, people would question it; they would gossip.
Marriage was not viewed as an option, but as the arrival point, the stamp of approval....
"That great guy wanted you....so you must be okay..."
  
People would wonder what was wrong with me---
therefore---
maybe something was wrong with me.

I didn't acquire the happily-ever-after story that people assured me would undoubtedly come oh-so-soon. I did acquire something else though...

I acquired the realization that my worth isn't linked to whether or not I have a boyfriend or husband or shiny ring on my finger. I gained the awareness that marriage and singleness have their differences, but one is not ultimately superior than the other. I discovered the surprising enlightenment that, at least for me at this time, being single is not the horrible, miserable life I had once feared.

These are the gifts that, so far, I have received instead of a relationship fit for a love song.

Yes, I often feel that I have received them the hard way.

But still, I have received.