Valentine Schemes

February 14. It isn't a day I stress over, and it doesn't make me feel acutely aware of being single. If people want to spend the day paying special attention to a partner or celebrating with friends, I have no objections. I do enjoy asking my students about their Valentine parties and, of course, love receiving hand-made cards from them.

One thing that does crack me up is the number of people who publicly post gushy love sonnets to their partners via social media for Valentine's Day (or on frequent days, for some people). I know, there really is nothing wrong with that, so if mushy online conversations help keep the sparks alive for you and your significant other, go for it. It's simply one of those things that tickles my funny bone.

After coming home from work tonight and checking my Facebook messages, I erupted in fits of laughter after reading countless posts that began with "Oh baby" or "My darlin'" and concluded with how this was simply the most amazing Valentine's Day, thanks to their lover. I resisted the urge to freak out my online audience by updating my status to:

"O--M--G!! This has been the best Valentine's Day EVER!!! I'm the luckiest girl in the world! XOXOXOXO!! You KNOW who you are! ;) "

That thought got me tickled, so I continued to plot. I considered posting a picture of the fake flowers in the vase in my living room, to go along with the the multitude of online flower photos, with a caption reading:

"From my sweetie :) "

Just to see how many people would believe it.

Lastly, I strongly wanted to switch the ring I got for my high school graduation to my left hand and post this:

"Aaaahhhh! I can't believe it!!! I never thought this day would come! Finally!!!! My prince has arrived, and my fairy tale has begun!! Sooo thankful!!! Oh my angel, you have made my dreams come true and made me the happiest girl on earth!! :) :) :) "

But again, I resisted. I'm sure a lot of people were sincerely celebrating special moments tonight, and I hated for my antics to hijack everyone's Valentine's Day. I decided, instead, to play my bass guitar and see how many of my roommate's pink Rice Krispy Treats I could eat. I admonished myself to quit making fun of people for going all Shakespeare online because, who knows, that could be me someday if I fall madly in love. I asked myself if I ever Facebook sweet-talked a boyfriend in the past, then remembered, the last time I had a Valentine was in the pre-Facebook era.

Fortunately, we are immensely loved whether or not we receive any flowers, rings, or public messages that make us squirm.

Happy Valentine's Day, everyone.