to manipulate.
"Forgiveness:" I have no arguments against forgiveness. Forgiveness frees the person who is trapped in a cycle of bitterness and anger. Forgiveness for another may not appear deserved, yet we all stand in need of undeserved forgiveness at times.
But how often have you heard forgiveness used in this manner:
"If you had really forgiven me, you would...."
The God-taught act of forgiveness becomes a form of control.
Another word I've recently noted a similar misuse of is the word "compromise," defined as
"a settlement of differences by mutual concessions,"
"something intermediate between different things."
But I've both observed and personally experienced accusations of not compromising, despite repeated attempts to give and bend, offer in-between solutions, and work out opposing situations. Then the "light-bulb" moment...the sudden revelation hits me with disappointment...and I realize that person or group of people are not truly asking for "compromise;" they are demanding "conformity," defined as
"action in accord with prevailing social standards, attitudes, practices,"
"compliance or acquiescence; obedience."
And I feel disheartened that the very words and actions meant to bring peace and resolution are twisted and manipulated to control other human beings. I feel deep disappointment that, as we search inside ourselves for traces of unforgiveness or resistance to compromise, we must be aware that humans also use the art of manipulation, guilt, and victim-playing, to force their own agendas upon us.
Some people employ these methods of control intentionally, while perhaps others are simply repeating learned behavior. But the adage "Be wise as serpents, yet innocent as doves," unfortunately, seems to need utilization in every instance of life.
And this saddens me.
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