My mind knows. Even my heart knows.
But sometimes I need reminding that I am wrapped in a love too vast for humans to comprehend. I need reminding that my Savior's eyes see me in a completely different light than the eyes of the world---even in a drastically different light than I see myself.
I see my years of past struggling, of confusion and an emotionally crippling affliction, my "thorn in the flesh." I remember desperate attempts of grasping for relief, impaired judgment, and I now feel anger towards the battle that consumed so much of my life.
I see myself covered in shame, defeat, and regret.
And on some occasional nights, when that is all I see in myself, I quietly slip out of bed, log onto my computer and, in tears, watch this video---http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7BASR3dgrio
over,
and over,
and over...
And I am reminded: We all are broken. In some way, we all are blind. In some way, we have all felt paralyzed. We have all been wounded, bruised, fearful, disgraced, hopeless. We have all reached our point of ultimate lowness and made decisions we would love to take back.
And that is why we have a Savior---because broken people need a Rescuer and Deliverer---
because he is the essence of love our minds can only partially understand:
Love that does not see us as shameful, defeated, hopeless creatures--
but as children immeasurably loved,
humans of worth, generously offered redemption to be drenched upon our struggles,
people with plans of hope being written into our lives,
even when hope no longer feels possible.
And I remember again----we all are broken.
God came to invade our brokenness, cast out our shame, offer us hope and new life.
I slip quietly back to my bed, and my hurt-filled thoughts slowly melt into peace---
because,
sometimes,
I just need reminding.
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